Family-Integration in the First Century Church

                             

                

                                                 Churches Included the Presence of Infants

We live in a culture where many Evangelical Churches see nothing morally wrong with young people of opposite sexes having personal relationships with one another through youth groups, college groups, and ''mission trips.'' While professing to follow Christ, many, though certainly not all, of these programs have taught little of the Bible to young people. Tragically, they have installed worldly desires in many youths who share almost all of the same interests as their counterparts outside of the Christian communities. 

How would the writers of the New Testament have seen the state of the modern church? What would the apostles have thought of fathers who can name more celebrities than books in the Bible? What of the mothers who lack interest in the church being central to our lives? What of the youth who have come to see church more as a social club than as the Temple of God? 

One of the great insights that we learn from early Christianity, is what the church should be. While the gospels tell the story of Christ, we learn about the first Christians in the Acts of the Apostles, the Pauline Epistles, and the Catholic Epistles of the New Testament. 

It's interesting to note that the Acts of the Apostles record a number of practices in the first-century church. It reports on prophecy, a church council, evangelism, baptisms, and much more. At the same time, however, Acts never informs us of a single case where young children were separated from their parents during Christian worship. Indeed, it actually affirms it. In Acts 2, while the content is arguably outside of a church setting, Peter the Apostle reminds the believers of the promise for them and their children that continued from the Old Testament. 

One of the strongest cases for family integration is in Ephesians 6. Paul instructed the children to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1). The letter implies that even young children were present with their parents during corporal worship (in contrast with some modern church programs). While scripture never condemns the use of Sunday school, such an institution was unknown at the time of the New Testament. That is not to say that Sunday School is heretical, or that churches that practice it are in error to do so. Certainly, nothing in scripture forbids such an institution from providing helpful instruction to different ages (provided that it be legitimate Biblical instruction). However, as I already said, the New Testament Church simply knew of no such institution. While it's quite possible that a church program can do much good, it is also important for Christians to understand that such programs are not essential to the welfare of the church. It would be unfair for some people to blame all problems of the church on misguided programs, but it is wise to realize the damage that many of these programs have created in the church of God. 

What then is essential to the church? Everything that we see practiced in the New Testament Church! Baptism, the Lord's Table, ordination of both elders and deacons, foot-washing, instruction, correcting false doctrine, and church discipline, are among the ancient practices of the early church. Since the New Testament is our guide to how a Christian should behave, we would be wise to learn from the pattern of New Testament Christianity. 

Children, including infants, were welcome in God's church to receive His blessings from the earliest of ages. For sure, nothing in scripture ever says otherwise. 

In short, it is not consistent family integration to say that infants are welcome in the church but are forbidden from the sacraments of baptism and the Eucharist. To be a family-integrated church, the youngest of persons should have the same privileges to partake of those things commanded in scripture (Baptism, Eucharist). Although some may use the exclusiveness of marriage against my case, I find this reasoning faulty. For in marriage, two adults make a covenant with God to be each other's, only sexual companions. However, not all adults are called to marriage, whereas all Christians are called to baptism and the Lord's Table. Therefore, to say that one is ''family-integrated'' by having young children present in church service but denying them the grace given to God's people through the sacraments is theologically inconsistent. 

                                                             Courtship and Marriage 

Although many moderns may associate ideas of courtship with the Romantic and Victorian eras, or as having originated in the Middle Ages at the earliest, this practice was observed in the early church. Marriage was often formalized by two Roman families. In Genesis 24:10-22, Abraham's servant summoned a wife for his son, Isaac. While scripture is not consistent in its portrayal of one type of courtship, marriage was often (if not always) brought through one or more families consenting to it. 

                                                   Patriarchy in the Ancient Church

God delivered His people through many conflicts throughout the Old Testament. In many cases, they were led by ''patriarchs'' (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, etc.) into receiving salvific and earthly benefits sometimes for their own obedience, and sometimes because of the obedience of their fathers. In general, a father/husband is the head of his household. His wife is commanded to submit to him (Ephesians 5:22-33) and he is commanded to love her as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25. What authority do husbands have over their wives and children? 

First of all, it should be universally recognized that neither a husband nor a wife share in the submissive roles of children within a household. A Christian woman has authority over her household that children do not have (Proverbs 31:27). Wives are not cattle that husbands dispose of as they will (and neither are children!). What authority does a husband have over his wife? 

Before we discuss what authority a husband has over his wife (and what authority parents have over their children), let us briefly discuss things that he does not have the right to do. 

If a husband were to ask his wife to engage in an unnatural form of sex that is contrary to scripture, she has all authority to resist his plea (Leviticus 18:22). Likewise, no wife, nor child is bound to submit to a husband/father, not to a man to his government when that higher authority conflicts with Holy Scripture (James 4:7, Romans 13). If a man asks his wife to give his children an ungodly education or not to sanctify them before God, she has all rights to refuse him (Exodus 4:24-26). Likewise, if he should convert to a faith contrary to her principles, she should hold to her convictions and not follow him (1 Timothy 1:19). Those who assert that either husbands/fathers or governments have unlimited authority teach contrary to the scriptures. The concept that everything will go better as long as a wife submits to her husband is also not Biblical. 

To love one's wife, would mean to also not abuse her. Scripture never allows under any condition that a husband has the legality to oppress her even if she should do something contrary to the teachings of the Scriptures. Indeed, even if she neglects him sexually as a wife, he has no lordship to force her against her will. 

With all of the above said, respect for a man is an essential component of a wife. It has often been said that men desire respect even more than affection. Indeed, it is against God that spouses should sexually neglect each other if one needs it (1 Corinthians 7:5). However, their companionship goes beyond sexual intimacy and should affect their lives in general. As husband and wife, they will be setting the pattern for future generations of what men and women are---and that's not always a good thing. 

Patriarchs have the authority to make or break a generation. Society will follow the direction that husbands and fathers choose to take it. If men see women as nothing more than sexual objects that have no mutual consent to engaging in sexual activity, if men only quote scripture when it's convenient to their desires (such as being the head of a home), and if men neglect teaching their children of the Christian faith, God will judge them more harshly (James 3:1). 

A relationship is never healthy when a man or woman tries to keep the other in isolation from one's family and good friends. While a husband and wife should share intimacy with each other that they do with no one else, they are to learn from their elders (1 Timothy 3) and women are to learn from each other (Titus 2:3-5). If a husband is keeping his wife from her growing up with other Christian women, then he will be judged by God for neglect of her character. While many abusive men love to quote Ephesians 5:22-33, they fail to take all of the scripture into account. Neither wives nor husbands are bound to do anything for the other that is contrary to Holy Scripture. 

In short, wives should submit to their husbands as long as his requests from her do not conflict with scripture. The same is true for children towards their parents' commands. Even then, a husband should be gracious towards his wife, and parents towards their children. 

Scripture teaches Patriarchy---but not the form promoted in many cultish circles. Many of these groups have misquoted scripture by cherry-picking the parts that they like while conveniently neglecting the rest. Since love is the greatest of gifts in this life (especially salvation itself), it should be remembered that husbands and wives are called to love one another even when their spouse neglects the Christlike love that should be owed to them.